Prenuptial Checklist

I've been married for more than 3 years now. I'm blessed to have married a man who is God-fearing, patient and always tries to be a better man for the family. What he might lack in a few things is more than compensated on how he takes good care of our kids, cooks well in the household and tries to look for ways to earn better financially. I am thankful that he is secure with himself and never gives up. He continues to do more despite the trying times we've encountered especially in the financial aspect of marriage.

Some of my friends are married and a lot are thinking of getting married soon. Getting married is a major decision in one's life and I would like to share my own random list of things to know or do before getting hitched:

• Try to get to know better your husband-to-be. Join a discovery weekend the soonest you plan to be with each other forever. Discovery weekend is a reaffirmation of your initial decision.
• Silently ask yourself if you've seen him in good and trying times. How was he during these times? Have you seen him both at his best and at his worst?
• How does he handle your arguments? Did he hurt you so much physically or verbally before? If you answered yes to any of these, it might be best to rethink your decision of marrying the person.
• Have you seen him get angry with a stranger? with a relative or family? with friends? with you? Assess if you will be able to stand with his behavior on challenging times.
• Have you met his closest friends? Observe how he is with them. This will tell you a lot about him.
• Have you met his mother? How is he with her? This will tell you a lot about how he will treat you in the future. 
• Know at least a few (in case there is) of his past relationships. Especially on the reason why they broke up. Ask nicely if he was not been able to open up with you on his previous relationships. Do not be overly persistent though. Let him volunteer information as much as he wants depending on questions you will ask. (Friendly Tip: Engage in a game of truth and consequence with only the 2 of you as game participants. Ask questions that you've been dying to ask him)
• Have you met his family? Do you agree or do you see yourself imbibing their "culture"? Are you willing to give up a few of the family traditions you've been accustomed to the new ones your in-laws have grown with?
• How is he with his work? This will tell you a lot about how he will pursue in the future to make your family ends meet.
• Discuss and open up the topic of money. Ask how much your husband to be currently earns. How much is his savings? Investments? And other valuable assets one can think of. This would help you initially assess if it is indeed enough to raise the family. Do not be offended if he will ask the same of you as well. Get into a mutual agreement on what to do with accumulated assets prior to your engagement/wedding. 

It is such a wonderful feeling to have a partner you've committed to spend the rest of your life with. There might be challenges along the way but it is part of the marital commitment you've made in the entire Church community.

Please Save Up

In trying times everybody needs to save.. This is a request I always tell myself and always pray that my husband will finally learn how to do ....

With marriage, one's money is in a way the other's money.. One's success is the family's success, debt by one is also carried by everyone.

For a family of four with house mortgage, bills and monthly dues to pay, children to feed and needs that should be taken cared of at a given fee, every peso counts.

I used to struggle to make ends meet. With the recent salary increase I'm glad I've managed to keep the family finance afloat...For now, I hope and pray that my husband will try to manage his finances better as I know he has started to be conscious of his spending.. 

Spend less is the priority for now..Save up and invest if can be done simultaneously or a choice between the two. I know in time and in the very near future we ( I mentioned "we" as his expenditure is also in a way our spending as a family, my savings and investment will also be his investment and the entire family's) will be able to spend less, save some more, invest wisely or be able to look for decent ways to augment income for the family.

Wishful Thinking

I wish my husband will overcome his forgetful ways..

Three days ago he forgot to wake up early in the morning in time to make his flight. Good thing there were still available seats in the next flight. He had to pay almost the same price with the original cost of the ticket that I purchased for him though.

Later in the evening, he forgot where he placed his personal cellphone....

The following morning, he forgot where he placed his business cellphone...

Today, his outgoing calls and messages where barred as he realized that he forgot to pay his cellphone bill before the due date. I was quite concerned as the account is under my name and I've been doing my best to protect my credit reputation and has always been sensitive about it. I avoid any unpaid balance due as much as possible. I wasn't able to stop myself requesting him to pay his bills in due time as I don't want him to return to his premarital bad habits of not paying his debts in due course.

Just this evening, he forgot his credit card in the province... Good thing my brother will be coming over in the next few days and we have requested to bring his card with him. Currently, he is using our "emergency credit card" in which I had him as my supplementary holder.

A few minutes ago, when I asked him what time his flight will be for Christmas, he also forgot about his flight schedule! In addition, he also forgot where he placed his ticket to check on his flight schedule. I helped him look for it but unfortunately, our search for the missing ticket remains to be futile. He was supposed to be back earlier than us in time for a friend's wedding. I wanted to change my flight to accompany him since travelling alone with an infant during Christmas time can be quite a challenge. I wanted to book our flight online as soon as possible as plane tickets during the holiday season tend to skyrocket when purchased at a later date. Unfortunately, I have to postpone my plan until such time that he can find for his ticket or would determine his flight schedule for Christmas soonest.

I hope that this forgetful habit of him will be a thing of the past or at the very least be minimized. I also pray for a better presence of mind, a better memory and better discipline for my husband. If all else fails, I need to forget that these series of unfortunate events happened and accept him together with his forgetful ways.