Prenuptial Checklist

I've been married for more than 3 years now. I'm blessed to have married a man who is God-fearing, patient and always tries to be a better man for the family. What he might lack in a few things is more than compensated on how he takes good care of our kids, cooks well in the household and tries to look for ways to earn better financially. I am thankful that he is secure with himself and never gives up. He continues to do more despite the trying times we've encountered especially in the financial aspect of marriage.

Some of my friends are married and a lot are thinking of getting married soon. Getting married is a major decision in one's life and I would like to share my own random list of things to know or do before getting hitched:

• Try to get to know better your husband-to-be. Join a discovery weekend the soonest you plan to be with each other forever. Discovery weekend is a reaffirmation of your initial decision.
• Silently ask yourself if you've seen him in good and trying times. How was he during these times? Have you seen him both at his best and at his worst?
• How does he handle your arguments? Did he hurt you so much physically or verbally before? If you answered yes to any of these, it might be best to rethink your decision of marrying the person.
• Have you seen him get angry with a stranger? with a relative or family? with friends? with you? Assess if you will be able to stand with his behavior on challenging times.
• Have you met his closest friends? Observe how he is with them. This will tell you a lot about him.
• Have you met his mother? How is he with her? This will tell you a lot about how he will treat you in the future. 
• Know at least a few (in case there is) of his past relationships. Especially on the reason why they broke up. Ask nicely if he was not been able to open up with you on his previous relationships. Do not be overly persistent though. Let him volunteer information as much as he wants depending on questions you will ask. (Friendly Tip: Engage in a game of truth and consequence with only the 2 of you as game participants. Ask questions that you've been dying to ask him)
• Have you met his family? Do you agree or do you see yourself imbibing their "culture"? Are you willing to give up a few of the family traditions you've been accustomed to the new ones your in-laws have grown with?
• How is he with his work? This will tell you a lot about how he will pursue in the future to make your family ends meet.
• Discuss and open up the topic of money. Ask how much your husband to be currently earns. How much is his savings? Investments? And other valuable assets one can think of. This would help you initially assess if it is indeed enough to raise the family. Do not be offended if he will ask the same of you as well. Get into a mutual agreement on what to do with accumulated assets prior to your engagement/wedding. 

It is such a wonderful feeling to have a partner you've committed to spend the rest of your life with. There might be challenges along the way but it is part of the marital commitment you've made in the entire Church community.

The Secret on Christmas Party

Did you ever believe that whatever it is that you think of would likely happen? My mantra has always been to keep on thinking positive thoughts, keep on dreaming and keep on believing!

I just practiced The Secret during our Christmas party earlier. Few hours ago, while attending the Christmas party, I was joking with my colleagues that I will win a prize in tonight's Christmas Party raffle. They initially laughed at my idea but also supported me on it. We had an agreement that we will not go home until all winners of the Christmas party raffle have been announced. 

True enough, I wasn't able to contain my excitement when my name was announced as one of the major prize winners. I got so happy that I won as I've originally thought! 

Iloilo Breakthrough

We went to Iloilo for  a business trip. It was my second time to visit the place. The first time was about 6 years ago enroute to Boracay from Davao City. I never had a chance to visit the place since then. 

I used to remember that Iloilo's airport was near the sea. I was quite surprised that we were about to land in an airport amidst green fields. The airport was relatively new - clean and sleek. It reminded me of a junior version of the Davao City International Airport. 

The city was a few minutes away from the airport. We were billeted at the Westown Hotel in Smallville area(I hope I got the names correct). My colleagues and I decided to be adventurous then as it was mostly our second time to go to Iloilo but we never had a chance to tour the place during our first visit. Included in our list of things to do list in Iloilo was to try their Batchoy, eat in a great local restaurant and try out Chicken Inasal as well as fulfill our business duties of going on trade checks, cascade to the Iloilo team our plans for next year and attend the provincial Christmas party. 

After checking in, we decided to go out for lunch. Unfortunately, most of the establishments near the hotel are only open from 5pm onwards as the area was known to be a gimmick place. We asked the taxi driver on where it would be great to eat for lunch and we were led to Breakthrough - a seafood lover's delight. The place was quite far from the city proper but the long trip was all worth it after savoring their version of Aligue rice, fried and grilled version of hito, Halaan soup, sisig na lechon among others. We even had a refreshing Buko Juice! We loved everything that we ordered. Moreso, we were shocked to see that our bill was only half of what we've expected it to cost. We had a hard time looking for a taxi back to the city but we cared less as we were fully satisfied during lunch time.

Afterwards, we did our trade check at SM, bought a few pasalubong from BongBong's stall and proceeded with our cascade to field sales in the afternoon. At night, we attended the area's Christmas Party held at Nelly's Garden. I was relatively impressed with the set-up that I would like to commend the organizers for putting up a great show. Since we were not able to eat Batchoy and Chicken Inasal for lunch, after the Christmas party we decided to try La Paz Batchoy at Deco's and had to give up trying Chicken Inasal since we were already full.

In my next Iloilo business or personal trip, I would definitely try out Chicken Inasal and hopefully visit the famous Miag-ao Church which is a few miles away from the city. 

Please Save Up

In trying times everybody needs to save.. This is a request I always tell myself and always pray that my husband will finally learn how to do ....

With marriage, one's money is in a way the other's money.. One's success is the family's success, debt by one is also carried by everyone.

For a family of four with house mortgage, bills and monthly dues to pay, children to feed and needs that should be taken cared of at a given fee, every peso counts.

I used to struggle to make ends meet. With the recent salary increase I'm glad I've managed to keep the family finance afloat...For now, I hope and pray that my husband will try to manage his finances better as I know he has started to be conscious of his spending.. 

Spend less is the priority for now..Save up and invest if can be done simultaneously or a choice between the two. I know in time and in the very near future we ( I mentioned "we" as his expenditure is also in a way our spending as a family, my savings and investment will also be his investment and the entire family's) will be able to spend less, save some more, invest wisely or be able to look for decent ways to augment income for the family.

Learnings from Work

I've never been conscious about positions, salary compensation and compared myself relative to others. Despite having many encounters, it still came a shock to me how others put high importance on titles and how they place a high regard of themselves relative to others. I've always thought that everyone should be treated with the same respect as a person and not purely base it on positions and salary compensations.

Good performance never fails to be rewarded.. It might not come at times when you want or expected it to be but the company or others always have a better way of making it up to give what one truly deserves. 

Friends may they be in your workplace or somewhere else are there to strengthen you, to guide you.. They are also there to help you and teach a thing or two which can be valuable in life.

Different Folks, Different Strokes

In our daily lives, we meet different types of people.. I tried to do my own classification. Within the categories, there are varying degrees... Here are some types of people most of us meet and deal with in our lives. They may be found in your community, office, at the restaurants, malls, church, schools..

• Friend - you can feel in an instant their genuine concern for your welfare. They are those whom you can trust,a shoulder to cry on, a confidant. Some wrongly categorized as "friend" can fall in the other descriptors as well.
• Relatives - bound by affinity or consanguinity.. Sometimes, you are left with no choice but to meet and interact with your relatives. They can also be your friend or any other type of person as well.
• Colleagues - Normally you work towards a common goal in any given situation. This allows room to choose who your colleagues are.. Rare is the occasion that your friend or relative is a colleague unless you are managing a family business. Colleagues can be any of the following below as well.
• Protector - you always feel secure when you're with them as if nothing wrong is going to happen.
• User - They might initially be friendly to you but in the end you'll realize that they want something from you
• Plastic - Fake Ones. Best in acting out. You might never know how they truly feel. They appear to be good initially but sooner or later, you'll see their true color. It might be difficult to distinguish plastic ones from friendly ones. With this, you have to go with your instinct.
• Trying Hard - They always try hard to blend in the crowd, try hard to impress somebody or everybody.. 
• Safe - the not so obvious version of trying hard.. they try not to take any stand/side.. if in case they need to, they go not necessarily where it is the right one to go but where it is safe for them to do so.
• Toxic - they are the type of people you want to run or stay away from as they sometimes can be a burden to you or drains your energy in a way.. Somehow when you're with them you feel that you are just compelled to be with them but you wish that you'd do something else instead. It's your duty to be with them rather than your want.
• Bully - They love to power trip. They love to brag a lot and belittle most of the time hurt verbally or physically others.
• Kisser - no they don't kiss your lips but they kiss your ass instead. This is a very common experience for people in the senior management position.
• Lover - Normally we only have one at a given time but for others, it might be an exception and they might have 2 or more at any given time.
• Loved - We are entitled to have as much as we want with these types of people.. they can also be our friends, they can even be relatives or colleagues.