Prenuptial Checklist

I've been married for more than 3 years now. I'm blessed to have married a man who is God-fearing, patient and always tries to be a better man for the family. What he might lack in a few things is more than compensated on how he takes good care of our kids, cooks well in the household and tries to look for ways to earn better financially. I am thankful that he is secure with himself and never gives up. He continues to do more despite the trying times we've encountered especially in the financial aspect of marriage.

Some of my friends are married and a lot are thinking of getting married soon. Getting married is a major decision in one's life and I would like to share my own random list of things to know or do before getting hitched:

• Try to get to know better your husband-to-be. Join a discovery weekend the soonest you plan to be with each other forever. Discovery weekend is a reaffirmation of your initial decision.
• Silently ask yourself if you've seen him in good and trying times. How was he during these times? Have you seen him both at his best and at his worst?
• How does he handle your arguments? Did he hurt you so much physically or verbally before? If you answered yes to any of these, it might be best to rethink your decision of marrying the person.
• Have you seen him get angry with a stranger? with a relative or family? with friends? with you? Assess if you will be able to stand with his behavior on challenging times.
• Have you met his closest friends? Observe how he is with them. This will tell you a lot about him.
• Have you met his mother? How is he with her? This will tell you a lot about how he will treat you in the future. 
• Know at least a few (in case there is) of his past relationships. Especially on the reason why they broke up. Ask nicely if he was not been able to open up with you on his previous relationships. Do not be overly persistent though. Let him volunteer information as much as he wants depending on questions you will ask. (Friendly Tip: Engage in a game of truth and consequence with only the 2 of you as game participants. Ask questions that you've been dying to ask him)
• Have you met his family? Do you agree or do you see yourself imbibing their "culture"? Are you willing to give up a few of the family traditions you've been accustomed to the new ones your in-laws have grown with?
• How is he with his work? This will tell you a lot about how he will pursue in the future to make your family ends meet.
• Discuss and open up the topic of money. Ask how much your husband to be currently earns. How much is his savings? Investments? And other valuable assets one can think of. This would help you initially assess if it is indeed enough to raise the family. Do not be offended if he will ask the same of you as well. Get into a mutual agreement on what to do with accumulated assets prior to your engagement/wedding. 

It is such a wonderful feeling to have a partner you've committed to spend the rest of your life with. There might be challenges along the way but it is part of the marital commitment you've made in the entire Church community.